Not fifteen minutes before this mornings exam I SPLIT ME STUDENT CARD IN TWAIN!!! I was standing there chatting with friends, trying to cover the fact that I was shitting myself in fear of the fast approaching maths and statistics exam by twirling and flicking my card around in the air like an idiot. However a wayward flick sent my card flying, it was a tense moment. Our conversation paused as our eyes followed my card in its display of aerial acrobatics that would make a stunt plane pilot weep. The soft glow of the fluorescent tube glinting off the picture of my face with the look of eager anticipation and fear of the big scary world that is university life (which subsequently looks no different from my driver’s license photo). Time seemed to stop, I could hear my heart beat, and I could feel the oxygen and CO2 diffusing across the fused basal laminae of the alveolar epithelium and the capillary endothelium in my lungs. I was totally aware of everything but at the same time I was helpless. I watched my card as it hang in freefall above my head. Then as if someone had over-inflated my BCD I shot to the surface and immediately drowned in reality. I heard a distant laugh resulting from the telling of a crude joke by someone down the hall in an attempt to ease the tension of the approaching exam. I had little time to react; I stuck my hands out in a pathetic attempt to catch the tumbling card. Just inches above my outstretched palm an updraft originating from the vent to the lift shaft sent my card wild. Too late I realised something was awry. I drew my hands closer but it was too late so I bought my arm in like some cheesy warriors salute and caught my card between my forearm and my chest. The pressure was however too great. The intermolecular forces holding the plastic polymers together gave way and the card snapped. After an ‘oh shit’ from Nick and a ‘that was smart’ from Amanda my minded shifted from worrying about the exam to worrying about what the exam supervisors would say. Fortunately they didn’t give a toss.
After the exam and after a riveting train and bus ride home, I set about fixing my student card. Thank god for epoxy resins. At first glance it doesn’t even look like it ever broke but upon closer inspection a line of resin can be seen where the card was broken. A fine start to the exams I think not but I have five days until chemistry plenty of time to fuck around before some last minute cramming or solid studying from tomorrow onwards (I’ll flip a coin to figure out which).
